


Amoral Pusbuckets in ~*Love*~

by QuokkaFoxtrot



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: BL3 Rhys, Because sometimes you just want to see middle aged men bang, Coming Untouched, Competence Kink, Competent Rhys, Didn't Know They Were Dating, General au, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Hyperion CTO Rhys, Jack just wants someone to pull his hair and call him Princess, Jack's secret sub tendency, M/M, Office Blow Jobs, Office Romance, Office Sex, Praise Kink, Uncomfortable Conversations, but not really because he's Handsome goddamn Jack, competent Jack, perversely healthy relationship considering the source
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 08:14:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuokkaFoxtrot/pseuds/QuokkaFoxtrot
Summary: “I’ll have Sheryl send the standard relationship NDA to your Echo.”“Re- Relationship?”
Relationships: Handsome Jack/Rhys (Borderlands)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 98





	Amoral Pusbuckets in ~*Love*~

**Author's Note:**

> Nobody could think of anything better so the working title stayed.

**Amoral pusbuckets in ~*love*~**

It starts like this: Rhys is an idiot and he's going to die.

Well, no. That's not the start, it's just a consequence.

It starts with Handsome Jack's hair.

—-

This thing they have? It's... 

New. 

He's been in Jack's orbit for years, worked his way up from a buttmonkey programmer to Chief Technical Officer, Jack's right hand man. The last thing he'd expected when Jack had walked in on him ripping the latest shotgun specs to pieces was a promotion, a slap on the back and a hearty laugh.

He absolutely hadn't expected the hand to move lower over the months, to linger on the small of his back, eyes twinkling at Rhys' startled gasps. 

And he definitely hadn't expected Jack's ridiculously large hand to curl around his hip one day, to pull him close and murmur huskily, "This is your last chance to say no, Kitten."

On the upside, Jack sure as shit didn't expect Rhys to grab him by the back of the neck and yank them together, teeth clacking painfully and a sharp, bright metallic splash as Rhys' tongue pushes between Jack's lips.

"The blood's a nice touch," Jack says, dislodging Rhys and walking him backward. "Less teeth next time."

Rhys' thighs hit Jack's desk then Jack's pressed against him from chest to knee. 

Jack nips at Rhys' lower lip, fingers kneading his ass. "I'll have Sheryl send the standard relationship NDA to your Echo."

Rhys pulls back, jaw going slack. "Re- Relationship?"

"We've been dating for _three months_. If you're in this, you're _in_ this, Rhysie," Jack says, voice low and serious. "You think I'm about to risk losing a CTO who actually knows his shit for a quick fuck? No no no, cupcake, Handsome Jack is many things, but he's not a schmuck. You want out, you go _now_."

Dating? 

_Dating??_

Mind running a mile a minute, Rhys can't even begin to comprehend that this was more than just a strange flirtation for Jack. Every interaction of the past few months reconfigures itself in his head; every touch, every raised eyebrow, the warmth of Jack pressed close to his side as he reads over the latest specs, the late night dinners as they pushed to meet deadlines, the sound of his laugh, low and rumbling through his broad chest - Rhys feels Jack start to pull away and panic rips through his body.

"Holyshitholyshitholyshit. We were _dating_?!" It feels like a spasm, his body jerks and he's wrapping an arm and a leg around Jack to keep him close. "Where do I sign? You want it in triplicate? I can do triplicate. Carve it in stone? You betcha, done. I can-"

Jack's laughing, the frown lines above his mask smoothing as he runs his hand up the outside of Rhys' thigh. "Settle down, Rhysie." He hoists him up to sit on his desk and encourages Rhys' other leg up to settle over his hip, feet hooking together behind Jack's back. "Hot damn, do I like 'em leggy." Biting his lip, Jack runs a hand up Rhys' leg and gives his thigh a squeeze.

"This is real, right?" Rhys asks, sliding a tentative hand up Jack's neck, fingers toying with the short hairs curling at his nape. "I can't believe this is real."

"Believe it, Kitten." Jack tilts his head to the side, twisting until Rhys' fingers pushed up against his scalp. "Mhmm, yeah, just like that." He leans in and captures Rhys' lips again, hands moving between them to work quickly on his buckle and zip. 

Rhys feels the cool of the room on him, Jack's fingers trailing up his length and then they're gone. Jack grunts into his mouth and then a second later his hand returns, wrapping around him and pressing them together.

"I didn't want to do it like this," Jack says and squeezes. "I had _plans_ , cupcake." He draws back, looking between them as he begins to stroke. "I was going to take you to _dinner_ , there was going to be _music_ , and _dessert_ , and then I was going to bring you home and _pound you into the mattress_." 

Rhys' breath catches in his throat. Minutes ago he'd thought his thing for Jack was a dirty little secret between him and the shower drain and now Jack's demonstrating exactly how tame his wildest fantasies are.

"Then you had to go-" Jack groans, crushing their lips together as his hand speeds up. "With your _hands_ ," he says around Rhys' low whine. 

Rhys' legs tighten around Jack's waist, hips canting as he gives an involuntary thrust. "Wh- what about my hands?" Rhys' arm is wrapped around Jack's shoulder trying to haul him nearer, fingers pushing against the base of his skull.

Jack's lips drag across Rhys' cheek up to his ear. "So fucking delicate," Jack mutters against the side of his face, hand speeding up. "Every single connection. Such a light touch. You made soldering sexy. _Soldering_. Who the fuck even _are_ you?"

Jack presses his mouth to Rhys' neck, drawing up a mark that's going to show high above his collar, but Rhys can't find it in himself to care; he just needs Jack to keep touching him. He whimpers as he palms the back of Jack's head, holding him in place. Jack's teeth worry at his skin and his fingers curl into Jack's hair, tugging and pushing simultaneously. 

Jack pulls away and Rhys hears him make a sound he could never imagine him making, high and desperate at the back of his throat.

"Harder," Jack grunts, panting as he rears up to stare into Rhys' eyes. " _Harder_."

Rhys can barely keep up, all his attention is on Jack's hand on his cock, and on the precipice he's rapidly approaching. Jack's muttering _harderharderharder_ and eventually what he means sinks in. 

Rhys curls his fingers through the short strands, tightens his grip, and _pulls_.

In the instant that they break eye contact, he can feel Jack spilling on his stomach, and he follows, every part of him tightening and pulling Jack closer even as he arches his back, thrusting uncontrollably. Jack slumps against him and he falls back, head thudding against the hard wood of the desk roughly.

"Next time," Jack says when time resumes its normal passage and the shocks running through Rhys' body feel gentle and familiar. "Next time we do this near a bed." Jack kisses him languidly, fingers brushing against the dark bruise on his throat.Rhys huffs a laugh against Jack's lips. "I like the fact that there's going to be a next time."

"If I have my way, there's gonna be so many next times you lose count," Jack says, pushing himself up to stand. He holds a hand out to Rhys, hauling him up off the desk.

Rhys would be lying if he said he cottoned on quickly to how Jack reacted to having his hair touched. He'd be lying if he said he worked it out in the first month. The point is he figured it out and that's what matters. 

By the end of the second month Rhys has not only worked it out, but also mastered its varied uses. On the one hand, it could pull Jack back from spacing entire divisions, on the other: instant boner. On the nights he can convince Jack to take a break, the gentle carding of fingers through his hair will put him to sleep, head resting in Rhys' lap as they watch old reruns of Maglevs in Love.

But Jack's hair, and his adoration of being petted and stroked, were only the tip of the iceberg.

The more time Rhys spent with Jack, the more he begins to _act_ like Jack. 

In the beginning, Jack found it hilarious. Reports of Rhys calling the head of R&D a smelly old scrote had Jack rolling. Within minutes of finding out, he'd tracked down the security footage and made it his Echo alert, gleefully turning the volume to full and making his PA send him messages every five minutes. That had lasted until Rhys had cornered Jack and pushed him against a wall, calling him a 'silly old scrote' and scraping his fingernails over Jack's scalp until Jack had promised to change it.

He kept it as his morning alarm, much to Rhys' chagrin.

Jack found it much less funny when Rhys started calling his management team pet names. 

A meeting in Jack's office on a Thursday afternoon saw Rhys standing over the conference table comparing their shotgun blueprints with a set of leaked Maliwan specs in front of a group of R&D department heads. 

"They've got us on splash damage." One of the engineers was saying, gesturing at the blueprint.

"But we've got them on the choke, Cupcake," Rhys says, smirking as Jack takes his feet off the table and sits up straight. "We've got the accuracy and speed; Maliwan's charge time is always going to be the killer. Katagawa's going to shit bricks." He claps the department head on the shoulder. "When the numbers come in for the next quarter, you're in line for a promotion, Princess."

"Everybody out," Jack says, low and cold and dangerous, knuckles white where he grasps the edge of the table.

"What? We've still got to go through-"

"Out," Jack snarls. " _Now_."

Rhys frowns at Jack, nodding at his team as they pack up and leave. He stares at Jack, who's refusing to make eye contact, until everyone is gone and the door is shut behind them.

"What the fuck, Jack? We weren't fini-"

"You. Don't. Say. That." Jack grits out. He's still sitting at the end of the conference table, jaw so tight that Rhys would wince if he weren't so pissed at Jack's behaviour.

"I've been giving out promotions for years, Jack. It's my _job_ ," Rhys says, hands on his hips as he glares down at Jack. 

Jack turns his gaze on Rhys, eyes cold and emotionless in a way that has Rhys off balance. "You do not call them 'cupcake'. You do not call them 'princess'."

"What the hell? You do it all the time," Rhys counters, baffled by Jack's sudden change in behaviour. Rhys knew Jack could be capricious - expected it, even - but not like this. Not... _cold_.

"You are not _me_." 

"No shit, Jack." Rhys scrubs his fingers through his hair. "Why can't I say princess, huh? Afraid I'll out obnoxious you, cupcake?"

If Rhys hadn't been staring so intently at Jack, he likely would have missed it; a small shudder that ripples over Jack's shoulders.

"Are you fucking repulsed? Is it that fucking awful that I'm using your _special_ words?" A small, bitter fire ignites in Rhys' chest, hurt driving him forward to slam his hands down on the desk and get up close to Jack's face. "Well, fuck you, _Princess_."

Jack startles at the noise, jerking back and looking up at Rhys pupils blown wide and lips parted, moist and glinting in the light.

Rhys falters. "Holy shit," he mutters, licking his lips as he reevaluates Jack's position. His knuckles are still white where he's clenching the table, shoulders tense, and if he glances down he can see the tightness of Jack's pants. "Not repulsed?" 

Jack swallows, standing and pushing away from the table to escape Rhys' proximity.

"Not repulsed."

Rhys can only watch Jack pace on the far side of the table. He's never seen Jack so shattered and watching him piece himself back together is like watching the creation of the man himself.

"It's not the words," Rhys murmurs, not expecting Jack to look at him, but needing to say it out loud, to confirm it. "I said it to _them_. They weren't for _you_." 

"If you tell anyone, _anyone_ about this," Jack says, voice cracking as he points a tense finger in Rhys' direction.

"You think I'd tell people? You think I want anyone to know how quick you can turn to putty with a _word_? A _touch_? I want this for _me_." Rhys turns a steely gaze on Jack. "The idea of you with anyone else makes my blood run cold. Just the thought that I could drive you away like that would make me do something that would make the Zarpedon debacle look like a cakewalk."

"You'd to try to blow up Elpis? For little old me? Aw, shucks." Jack rolls his eyes, condescension dripping from his tone as he leans against the wall, trying to project an air of control but his entire body betrays him, rigid with tension.

"Yes! Well... no? I mean, I'd _want_ to." Rhys deflates a little. Jack's defences have gone up, unless he can convince Jack to let him back in, this is going to turn into one _hell_ of an argument.

"You're killing me here." Jack crosses his arms, glaring at Rhys as Rhys moves in closer.

"Jack, no. Trust me- You've trusted me for, what is it? Six Years? Seven? Seven Years? And that was _before_ we started sleeping together. You can trust me with _this_."

"There's nothing to trust you with." Jack pushes away from the wall, fingers raking through his hair before he reels around, drawing himself up to loom over Rhys. "And even if there was, then the next thing I know I'm being airlocked and you're stealing my chair. No dice. Jack looks out for Jack, Cupcake. It's gonna be hard to replace you, but hey, executives are a dime a dozen, am I ri-"

"Jack. Jack, stop." Hands raised defensively, placating. "I don't want your job. Okay? I don't want- At least, not yet. I want you to die of old age, or, really, not at all? Not at all would be preferable. I mean, I'm the second most powerful man on Helios, and if I'm not walking beside you? I'm walking _behind_ you. And you can't know how good that view is. I mean, seriously, it-"

"I have clones, I know _exactly_ how good the view is. Why do you think my jackets are cut this way?" Jack crosses his arms, weight resting on one foot as he cocks his hip, eyes dull and unamused.

Rhys pauses, mind derailing as he- "Have you ever...? With the clones, I mean?"

"No." 

"Would you consider it?" 

"No- Maybe- I don't- We're getting a scooch off topic here, kiddo." Jack sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Aha! Kiddo! We're good, this is salvageable, this is good." Rhys steps forward, reaching out a tentative hand to rest on Jack's shoulder. "The fact that you're still talking to me points to you not wanting to fire me or break up with m-" Rhys sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Jack, it's been the two of us for years. I've been your VP, your CTO, your right hand man, now I'm your main squeeze, your one and only, your sunshine sailor, your bunny boy, your-"

Jack clears his throat, looking away and making a winding motion with his finger.

Rhys flushes, heat spreading across his cheeks as he ducks his head to recapture Jack's line of sight. 

"You gotta know by now, it's _you_ I'm here for." He squeezes Jack's shoulder, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he sees Jack's breath catch. "The power _is_ nice, don't get me wrong - busting Vasquez down to janitor keeps me warm at night even now, you know I'm never going to let _that_ go - but I'm, you know, I'm _happy_ where I am. I get to make Hyperion tech every day, I get to make it _better_ , and I get to piss off Katagawa in the process. It's a win-win-win." Rhys clears his throat. "And the _only_ reason I'd want to sit in your chair before you're dead is if you wanted to suck my brains out through my dick. While I was sitting in it. I am open to that. Yes. And, uh, also: Please?"

Jack huffs a laugh, shaking his head before sobering and meeting Rhys' gaze. "Say I do trust you- and I'm not saying there's any thing I'd have to trust you with- but, say I do trust you... Do you know what happens if you _break_ that trust?"

"Uhh, you call me names, burn down my bar, and build a giant space-casino to show how awesome you are and rub my face in it?" 

"Kitten." Jack growls in warning.

"Jack, I'm in the best place I've ever been in my _life_. I'm happy - _more_ than happy _-_ to go back to how we were, but if this is something you like, something you _want_ , then I don't want to deny you that. Let me- Let me take care of you." Rhys inhales, licking his lips nervously. "Princess."

Jack's eyes flutter, a shudder rippling through his shoulders before he shakes it off. 

"And you're just, what? You're fine with this?" Jack asks, eyeing Rhys warily and leaning away from his touch. "You're happy-go-lucky Rhys, rolling with the punches, capitulating to his boyfriend's weird desi-"

"It makes me so hard I could pulverise Eridium with my dick," Rhys blurts, lurching forward to keep Jack from stepping out of his grasp. "It's not weird. _You_ want this and _I_ want to give it to you." As he speaks, a hand slides from Jack's shoulders, down his side to settle on his hips. Giving a tug, he pulls them flush together so Jack canfeel how much he isn't lying. "Hot _damn_ , do I want to give it to you." His other hand slides up the back of Jack's neck, twisting into the short hair. "Relax, Cupcake. Let yourself have it."

Rhys watches as Jack's shoulders slowly drop, eyes closing as he tilts his head toward Rhys' fingers.

"Good boy," Rhys murmurs, feeling Jack shiver against him. "I knew you'd be such a good boy."

Shuddering bodily, Jack's forehead drops to Rhys' shoulder, Rhys' fingernails scraping against Jack's scalp. Rhys feels more than hears Jack mumble and he drops a kiss to his crown and rubs his back.

"What's that, Kitten?" Rhys can feel Jack hard against him, knows Jack can feel him too and smirks into his hair.

"Get in the chair," Jack rasps, raising his head to look at Rhys through hooded eyes.

Rhys' eyes widen, arm involuntarily tightening around Jack's middle. "N- Now?"

"Yes," Jack says, licking his lip and drawing in a stuttering breath. "Sir."

"Oh, that's new," Rhys says, feeling that single word go straight to his cock. Handsome Jack, the most powerful man in the galaxy, is calling _him_ sir? He has basically the best life ever. "That's good. I like that."

Jack's crowding against him, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his neck as he backs him up the stairs towards his desk.

"Eager aren't you," Rhys says, glancing over his shoulder so he doesn't trip before he flops down into the big, yellow chair. "What's your plan now, Doll?"

Jack kneels between Rhys' legs, pressing a large hand against the bulge in the front of Rhys' pants and rucking up his shirt with the other. He's kissing Rhys' stomach, fingers working to undo Rhys' belt buckle and zip before yanking his pants off his hips. 

Rhys is bare-assed in Jack's chair, staring down at Jack's hand loosely stroking him as he looks up at Rhys, eyes twinkling. "You gonna do something with that, Cupcake?"

Jack smirks. "Wasn't planning on it. Thought I'd just take in the view."

Rhys trails a finger down Jack's cheek, sliding it across Jack's lip. "Want to reconsider, pumpkin?"

Jack sucks his finger in, tongue laving the pad and eyes twinkling.

"I think you might have a few options open," Rhys says, pushing his finger in further and shifting when Jack sucks him harder. He watches as Jack's eyes drift closed, focussing on the task at hand, as it were. "You got a good technique there, kitten. Think it might be time for you to put it to use on something a little bigger." 

Jack makes a small sound of disappointment as Rhys pulls his finger out, but then he's guiding his cock towards Jack's mouth and Jack eagerly sucks him in.

"Oh yeah, that's it," Rhys breathes, watching Jack's jaw work as he sucks the head before he draws it further in. "Good boy, take it all in."

Jack pulls up slowly before pushing back and taking him in further.

Rhys lets him set his own pace, fingers gently stroking his neck and enjoying the show. Jack usually took the lead, manhandling Rhys into various positions, and Rhys couldn't deny: the man had vision. This was by no means the first time Jack had blown him, but this was the first time it felt like its own destination and not just Jack drawing him closer and closer to the edge, leaving him panting with desire. 

This felt like Jack losing himself to the act, to the moment, to the murmured praise and the fingers twisting and carding through his hair. Jack's hands are on Rhys' hips, holding him in place as he works Rhys' cock further into his throat. It would figure that even as he was losing himself in the moment, he'd still have enough control to be able to go further than Rhys was ever able to get.

"So good, kitten," Rhys murmurs, resisting the urge to let his eyes drift closed. He needs to see this through, to remember this, every second. Jack is so focussed on him, on drawing out every sliver of pleasure he can and Rhys just wants to savour it, devour it all and hoard it. His thighs tremble with the act of holding back, Jack has pulled him in as far as he can, nose brushing against his abdomen and he's swallowing, swallowing, swallowing around him. "S-slow down, Princess. I'm close. I'm so close."

Jack doubles down on his efforts, pulling and drawing and sucking and Rhys can't hold on he's curling forward over Jack and his fingers are gripping Jack's hair and it's lucky Jack's holding him in place because his entire body is crying out to _pushshovethrust_ into the oblivion that's reaching out to claim him. 

Rhys scratches his nails over Jack's scalp, feeling him shiver bodily. Jack lets out a low, moan, vibrating around Rhys' cock and Rhys is gone. A startled gasp shudders out of him as he sputters _I'm coming_ and tries to pull Jack off but Jack just sucks him through it, swallowing him down until Rhys is over sensitive and mewling.

Jack pulls off with a wet pop and Rhys flops back to stare at the ceiling, aftershocks running through his body, making him twitch. He feels Jack resting his head against his thigh and strokes his hair absently until he feels language return to him.

"Gimme a second... Princess," Rhys mumbles, breath coming in heaving gulps. "I'll get you."

"Don't." Jack presses his face to the soft flesh of Rhys' upper thigh and Rhys can feel him squeezing his eyes shut.

"Don't what?" Rhys asks, looking down at Jack in confusion.

"You don't need to," Jack huffs out, pressing his forehead hard against Rhys' thigh.

"You already? Just from blowing me? That's hot, why is that so hot?" Rhys asks helplessly, stroking Jack's cheek in wonder.

"It's _not_ ," Jack spits, jerking away from Rhys' touch. "I came in my pants like a freakin' teenager."

"Nonono, Jack. Jack listen: You came without being touched. You came in your _brain_!" Rhys crows, leaning forward to press his forehead against Jack's as he laughs breathlessly.

Jack snorts, looking away. 

Rhys urges Jack back until he can slide out the chair and kneel beside him. "Is that why you didn't want to do it? Why you were so angry?" 

"Wouldn't be the first time." Jack grunts, flopping back to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling. "Coming at the drop of a hat isn't a 'desirable quality' in a partner."

"Jack," Rhys says, resting on his elbow and trailing a finger up Jack's chest. "You were _so_ hot for it. I could feel it in your hands... in your lips... in your mouth." He presses a finger to Jack's chin, turning his face until Jack meets his eyes. "Imagine..." he presses a soft kiss to Jack's lips. "Imagine how hard you're gonna come when I get to put my hands on you, cupcake. You're gonna see _stars_."

"Oh," Jack says softly, eyes going unfocused before he shifts to wrap an arm around Rhys. "I am definitely keeping you. Your standards are _way_ lower than I thought."

Rhys looks down at Jack with a frown. "You really think that?" He asks, drumming his fingers on Jack's chest. "Jack, every time, _every single time_ you trust me with something, I wonder what I did to deserve this life; how I could be so damn _lucky_. I'm just... me. You're _literally_ the man who has everything. What could I possibly have that you would want?"

Jack twists his neck so he can see Rhys better. "You've got my respect, Kitten. Few people in the galaxy have the balls to tell me I'm wrong. So far? You're one of only a few who've been _right_. Maliwan would have outperformed us that quarter if that rifle had gone to production as it was. You saved Hyperion - and me - from humiliation." 

"Don't you need humility to be humiliated?" Rhys asks with a cheeky grin.

Jack narrows his eyes at Rhys. "You're lucky you're cute." He shakes his head and pulls Rhys down to press a light kiss to his forehead . "Plus, you know what you're doing with your hands. That's freakin' _hot_ , kitten."

Rhys snorts, resting his head on Jack's chest and holds up a hand, wiggling his fingers in front of Jack's face. "Sexy haaaands, Jack," he sing songs, laughing when Jack grabs the hand and presses it to his chest.

They lie there in a comfortable silence, actively not thinking about how Rhys' trousers are around his knees and Jack's pants are slowly crusting up.

"So, pet names, huh?" Rhys asks in a quiet tone, twisting his hand to thread his fingers together with Jacks when he feels him tense. "We're _in_ this, Jack. You can tell me."

Jack draws in a deep breath, huffing it out through his nose. He holds his breath and Rhys can feel the moment Jack decides to answer him honestly. "I've got my own back one hundred percent of the time. I'm Handsome goddamn Jack," he says softly. "Sometimes I want someone else to have mine. A little external validation is... nice."

Rhys squeezes Jack's hand in comfort. He can feel that Jack's still tense, like he's expecting rejection at any second. 

Rhys draws Jack's hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back. "Next time? I'm gonna _internally_ validate you."

Jack snorts, a laugh rumbling under Rhys' cheek.

"Wait, no, I've changed my mind, you're fired. You're absolutely fired."

—-

It ends like this: Rhys is an idiot and he's going to die.

A million little deaths over and over and he isn't going to regret a single one.

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I'm not saying Borderlands and Animal Crossing take place in the same universe, I'm just saying that it honestly wouldn't surprise me.


End file.
